The Mage's Discovery
by Blaze808
Summary: (Crack Idea-not crack fic) Fai thinks he found a feather, and wants to surprise the gang with his find. Too bad it's not going to work out nicely...Author will not spoil story-so she will not say anymore. K because I'm paranoid. No pairings inside-but brief mention of Syaoran/Sakura.


**Hi everyone! This is Blaze808 with my first story for the Tsubasa Chronicle. I hope you all like this! This is a crack idea, but not a crack story!**

**The Mage's Discovery**

It had been eight weeks since they had arrived on the strange new world and there wasn't even an inkling that a feather was here. The only reason why they were still there was that when they got so sick of looking they had asked Yuko who had answered that there had been one (at the price of all of their coats-though they wondered if that might have had to do with the lack of St. White's Day presents than just the normal price…) Due to this, the group rotated hunting for the feather and leaving one behind to watch over the household. In this case, it was Fai's turn. Though much of the time he spent the time watching planet events through the glass screen on the wall, looking for anything that could have been caused by the feather-though the lack of Mokona made it quite difficult. It was quite boring, but when he got left behind, he figured he might be of some use. He had been watching for hours with no such luck of finding anything, and was about to go for a nap when something very flashy came on the screen. It looked very similar to some of his drawings, and they were moving. This interested him-who had the power to make drawings move? One of the drawings grew wings and started to fly away. He quickly grabbed his sketchbook and got ready to record anything that came up. All of a sudden, a picture of a metal pillar that looked like a few of the things Syaoran and Sakura got on their adventures (which seemed more like dates to the mage…). He quickly sketched it down, being the only thing that didn't look like a drawing. That must be the magical item that was connected to the feather! He couldn't wait until they got back to the residence. Fai was mentally bouncing with excitement. He, Fai D. Flourite was about to find one of Sakura's feathers. Kuro-woofy was going to eat his words about him being useless-and he was going to force feed him if he didn't voluntarilly-for the rest of his life (maybe a little too much, but…) and Fai would enjoy watching every metaphorical bite!

By the time they got home, he ran out the door grabbing Mokona out of Sakura's hand.

"I-have-to-go-check-something-out-bye!"

The others only stared after him. What had gotten into him?

Following Mokona's advice, Fai rushed to the store (Wal-Mart), and quickly walked up to someone in a green uniform. He took one quick look at the drawing and made out the words 'Red Bull.'

"Do you have any Red Bull?" Fai asked a tad too eagerly.

The cashier looked up at the man in front of her. To be honest, she wasn't too sure that it was a he, with the long hair and all. All she knew is that he was a little too eager for the Red Bull. Either that, or just had one. She wasn't sure, but smiled politely and answered.

"I'll show you where, sir."

The man clapped his hands in delight. "Oh really?! Thanks!" He said it a little too fast for her liking. As she walked in the direction of the Red Bull, she looked to see him quivering in excitement. _Treat disabled customers with respect…treat disabled customers with respect…treat disabled customers with respect…_she chanted to herself in her head. It was a good thing that the Red Bull was close by. A couple of teenagers were starting to pull out their phones and were filming the customer, no doubt thinking they found footage for a new 'People of Walmart' video. She silently prayed that she was wrong, but she knew for sure when she heard the jingle of the share button clicked on. The cashier quickened her pace and gestured to the cases.

Fai's eyes widened. There was so much. Guess what he was doing for the next few weeks…

He looked at the cashier. "Ma'am, do they all do the same thing?"

She nodded, and tried not to comment how dumb the question was. "Of course!" She grinned-though in her head she was groaning.

Fai looked at all the Red Bull. How much should he get? Who knew how many attempts it would take to find the feather. He figured he could get more, and because they had six feathers left, he bought six cases of the magical fluid.

Fai snuck into the house through his bedroom window, only falling off the ledge twice and getting stuck once. Somehow though, the cargo didn't get damaged. There was no way that the liquid didn't have magical powers.

"Can Mokona and Fai join the others."

"You can. I have some work to do. I'm a little busy. Tell them I'll make dinner in an hour!" He grinned.

Mokona was about to waddle out of the room when Fai added.

"They don't need to know what I'm doing, 'kay?"

The other three were sitting silently. They had all gotten sick of trying to communciate without the Manju when Mokona showed up bouncing down the small flight of stairs.

"Where have you and the mage been?!" Kurogane yelled angrilly at the Manju.

Mokona grinned "Fai said (as he changed his voice to mimic the mage) they don't need to know what I'm doing, 'kay …"

Sakura and Syaoran exchanged looks. This was unusual. What was Fai hiding? It was strange that Mokona was keeping silent about it, after all, many a time it had told the others secrets. They all had things told about them from Syoaran's breaking one of the vases, to Sakura's sketchbook filled with pictures of Syaoran to Kurogane reading (and unadmittingly-enjoying) a section called Ouran High School Host Club in his manga book, and finally to Fai's utter disgust for all things fish-related. So why was it keeping a secret? They figured the Manju would say it eventually, but not yet.

Kurogane wasn't going to wait for Mokona to spill, and quickly stormed up to Fai's room.

"Fai! Open this door! NOW!" He yelled.

He heard the sound of footsteps running around to various locations of the room. His only guess was that Fai was hiding something-or himself-from him.

"Open this door or I will!"

Fai quickly went up to the door and locked it and went back to hiding his things.

"Just because you locked it doesn't mean I can't get in!"

"But Kuro-woofy, you don't want to see me getting dressed, do you?" Fai tried to get the fuming ninja away from the door.

"You have 30 seconds to get decent." Kurogane growled.

Oh man…he wasn't leaving. Fai stashed the last thing away and quickly dashed for the door, not a moment too soon. Kurogane was in position to knock the door down but relaxed (slightly) when the mage opened the door. Fai walked towards him and shut the door behind him.

"Kuro-pu, can you back up please?" The mage was quite close, and a little too close for either of their comfort. He groaned and went back.

"Thanks. What did you want me to talk about?" Fai grinned, but his eyebrows gave away a small amount of irritation.

"What is this big 'secret' that you are hiding?" He growled.

"I didn't take you for a gossiper! Sorry, I don't goss…"

Kurogane couldn't take anymore and thrust Fai against the wall. "Don't give me that, you're hiding something from us!"

"Can't I give you guys a surprise from time to time?" Fai's eyes appeared to beg, but they weren't directed at Kurogane. They were directed at Sakura who had followed him up to make sure he wouldn't try hurting the mage. And she didn't see to understand this was a interrogation.

"Hey! Let him go! That's not nice!"

Kurogane relented and let go of the mage, though he would have liked to put his fist through Fai's little grin. If Sakura didn't remind him so much of Tomoyo…grrr …

"Thank you Sakura! Now if you'll _excuse me_ (a small glance was shot at Kurogane) I have something I need to get done!" He went back inside his room and shut the door.

Being that he was alone, Fai let out the quiet snarl he had been holding back. The nerve that the ninja had drove him insane! Couldn't he just mind his own business. He quickly took a breath and calmed down. If he started fuming a little too loudly, he'd worry the others. Though he wished he could use a little magic to slap the Big Puppy upside the head. Maybe that would make him less nosy. Besides, the Red Bull was waiting to release its feather. Oh how he would cherish the moment when it was released! He pulled out his potions bowl and started mixing things together, trying all the non-magic potion combinations he knew, putting a small hair from his collection of Sakura's hair clippings (for DNA potions only…) and tried to mix it. But nothing would take. It did nothing. By the time the hour was up, he dashed out to make dinner for the others after his own growling stomach nagged him to take a break. He made sure to take his own dinner in with him in his room. A thought came him as he ate. He might have to use magic to figure out how to unlock the Red Bull's magic capabilities. Fai gulped at the thought of it. That would mean exposing himself to…him. He went to bed thinking about all the ways that the man would catch him…needless to say, it didn't take long before it became a very sleepless night.

The next morning was Sakura's turn to stay behind, and he knew that she hated being left behind. She also wouldn't expect anything if he asked to take her place. But the others would…he had to think of something. An idea came to him. He had to make sure not to go overboard with this.

When the others got up, Fai had figured out what he had needed to do. He had taken a bit of Sakura's blush to make himself look a bit rosy (a little unnaturally, but it's what he had to do.) and as soon as the other's were in earshot, 'coughed' a couple of times.

"Are you okay?" Sakura asked concerned.

He grinned. "Yep! I'm fine!" then let out a false fit of coughing, turned around and hacked into the sink, only causing Sakura to be concerned.

When the other two walked down the stairs, Sakura ran up to them.

"Fai's sick!" She looked panicked, making Fai feel slightly guilty for worrying the princess. But if and when he proccured the feather, he figured that would make up for it.

Syaoran looked slightly worried, but Kurogane rolled his eyes. "Sakura, he's faking to try to keep working on whatever he spent the night on."

Fai mentally cursed. How was the Big Puppy so good at figuring him out? Maybe another technique would 'convince' him. He went to fill up the pot for boiling the eggs, and discreetly stuck his hand in the water.

"Fai! I know you're faking it. People have tried to fake it around me all the time. That is one of the worst jobs I've ever seen!" Kurogane turned around, and knowing the others couldn't see him, he took his opportunity.

He pretended to cough, but flicked the wet hand in timing so the water droplets hit the small part of Kurogane's exposed neck.

From the look on the kids' faces who were in front of the ninja, it was obvious that the ninja had reacted.

"Fai! That's disgusting! Cover your mouth!" Well, now he believed him. Now to get them to let him stay behind.

"You know what? I think he should stay behind. He probably needs the rest anyway." Syaoran pointed out to the other two, and Fai held back a grin.

"Shouldn't someone stay behind to make sure he's okay?" Fai didn't need to hold back a grin any longer. He knew Sakura would do this…

"Yeah. If he's feeling _that_ unwell, perhaps someone should." The statement came from Kurogane, telling Fai that he still knew that he was faking. Anyone know a good IQ dropping spell?

"All I need is just a rest. That's all!" Fai smiled reassuringly.

They didn't listen, and Sakura opted to stay behind, who seemed to think the mage was on death row. Fai had a feeling that he wouldn't want to hear the words 'Chicken Soup' ever again. Not to mention she had actually tried to feed him. Fai knew Sakura was trying to be nice…still…

He was really looking forward to when she fell asleep. Right now, the only thing sleeping was his legs. After the others left, she had forced him onto the couch and had made him stay there. Not to mention all these horrendous remedies. He couldn't help but wonder if the Big Puppy had recommended them to her…jerk…

Finally, she did, and he moved her to her room, and got to work. He tried to summon any energy out of the drink, but all it did was explode. Next, he tried to use a water spell, causing him to get soaked. How he hated experimental magic! After several failing attempts to create anything with the Red Bull, he was close to screaming with frustration. Could this get any more annoying? But he remembered something he had learned a while before. Some things need to be ingested to work. So, with a silent prayer, and his head over a bucket, he drank the fluid. To his relief, he didn't feel sick (for real this time) and…he felt a buzzing sensation in his head. It was working. He yelled out in success, only to cover his mouth. He couldn't wake Sakura up! But maybe he had to grab another one for it to work. He kept doing this for the longest time, untill he had drank three cases of the magical fluid, which was the last of it. He felt so good! So energetic! So…

He jumped up and ran through the door, enjoying his energy!

Kurogane had a feeling something was up. One look at the others told him that they felt it too. Nothing was said-they just went back to the house, and arrived half an hour later. The house was in shambles. The windows were smashed, and the door looked like it had been hit by a speeding rhino. Both of them ran in with their swords drawn. Sakura and the couch had been the only thing left alone. What kind of creature had this destructive capablity? Even the kitchen tiles had been smashed into smithereens. They heard a laugh. It didn't sound evil, but there was something disturbing to it. Something disturbingly familiar. What was it?

Fai's head dropped in front of them, with a grin that would have made the Cheshire Cat jealous. "Hi!" He said waaaay too eagerly for their liking. Both of them backed up with lightning speed.

"Fai…what…happened here?" Syaoran asked carefully.

"I-don't-know-but-I-found-something-really-really-really-tasty! I-really-like-it! You-should-go-get-some-so-we-can-totally-drink-it-together! I-realllllly-like-it!"

"What the (swear word of your choice) did you drink?!" Kurogane yelled.

"Awww-Kuro-woofy-that-really-hurt-my-ears! I-had-some-Red-Bull! It's-yummy-magical-rainbowy-sparkly-goodness!" Fai giggled.

"Is he high?" Syaoran looked at Fai, talking to Kurogane.

"My guess is sugar high…" was Kurogane's response.

"How many Red Bulls did you drink?" Syaoran asked calmly, eunuciating every word exactly so the sugar high mage could understand.

Fai started to count on his fingers. Both of them widened their eyes when he got past 5. Their jaws dropped at 10. They fell over at 15.

"I-had-18! Such-a-pretty-number! You-guys-look-tired! You-feel-light-as-a-feather-if-you-drink-Red-Bull! I-know-I-do! I-feel-like-I-could-fly!" And at that he flapped his arms like a bird and dove through one of the broken windows. The other two quickly dashed outside making sure that Fai wouldn't be released to the rest of the world, but Fai came back inside in the same fashion.

"I'm-just-like-one-of-the-tweet-tweet-birds! They're-my-new-kin!" and with that, started making the worst bird calls any of them ever heard.

"I-can-talk-to-birds! Just-like-Snow-White! I-bet-I-can-sing-just-like-her-too!" And with that started to sing: "IiIiIiI'tttttTT'sSS AAAAAaaaAA SmaLLLLLLL…" When Kurogane put his hand over Fai's mouth.

"Don't sing. Please! You're voice is wretched."

"Yeah. I have to agree with Kurogane on this one."

"Have to?" Kurogane flashed Syaoran a look.

Before anymore could be said. "WWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! You-guys-don't-like-my-voice!"

Both of them groaned. "I'm really looking forward to when Fai-san gets back to normal." Syaoran groaned

"Agreed." Kurogane groaned.

As Fai sat on the ground, pretending to cry his eyes out, Kurogane knocked out Fai, bring a long awaited silence, and lugged him off to his room with Syaoran in tow. After putting the unconcious mage to bed, they heard a loud scream.

"What happened to the house?!"

Well, Sakura was awake.

When Fai woke up, he felt sick. For real this time. His head pounded so hard he thought it might explode and his stomach…oh geez...

After his body heaved up some of the less pleasant stuff he had ingested the day before, he looked up to see his comrades looking at him rather angrilly. Even Sakura and Mokona didn't look happy.

"Well now you're actually sick. I can't believe that you tricked me like that! What possessed you that you thought that it was a good idea to get us to worry about you?" Sakura growled, causing Fai to flinch. He was dead-or was going to be soon.

"Not to mentioned destroyed the house! Mokona had to use one of Mokona's 108 secret techniques to put it in order." Mokona took its turn to be annoyed.

"What were you thinking?!" All of them yelled at once, causing Fai to clutch his head.

"Softer…please…pain…" Fai whimpered.

"Explain yourself then!" Kurogane on purposely yelled at the top of his lungs, causing Fai to slam his head against his bed.

"I though I figured out a way to get the feather. On the glass screen, some drawings came to life, and I thought from what I saw, this is what caused it to come alive, and I thought there was a feather to be found inside…"

"Told you so! Sakura owes Mokona six bucks. It was the drawings coming to life, not the wings" Mokona grinned.

"…wha?" Fai was confused.

"The commercial came on the 'glass screen' about that Red Bull gives you wings a bit before you woke up." Syaoran commented. "But I think you missed a vital part of the commerical being without Mokona at the time."

"What did I…miss?"

"Red Bull does not give you wings." They all quoted the famous disclaimer at the end of the commercial, causing Fai to thrust his head on the pillow in exasperation.

"Really? After all that too? …sorry guys." Fai looked embarrased.

Sakura smiled "No problem. You're forgiven!" And the others acknowleged that they had forgiven the mage.

"Just don't do that again." Kurogane added.

"No worries about that." Fai groaned.

After the others left, Kurogane looked at him, and with a smile, shook his head.

"You're such an idiot, Fai." Then left shutting the door behind him

Fai smiled slightly until…

"Fai! I'm coming up with some stuff for you!" Sakura called up from the downstairs.

Couldn't he catch a break?

**I hope you all enjoyed this! If I mentioned something in here that I know wasn't answered (example, the Ouran High School Host Club reference) feel free to request a one shot that explains it, and I'll get to it when I can!**


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